Contemporary Art

Count Chocula cereal isn't what it used to be, by any means. They seem to have gone a little crazy with the marshmallows. How come it's pronounced "marshmEllow", anyway?

How very stupid. No wonder English is Jerry Lewis's native tongue.

You know what my mom can't pronounce? "Gladiolus". She drops the second "l" from the word completely and replaces it with an "s". "GladioSus". Plus, her hairdo is nasty.

My friend's biggest fear is seeing a man with his face painted white standing outside his window at night. Man, that's pretty damn specific for a phobia, don't you think?

I dislike the word "spinabifida". It just doesn't have that Latin-y/medical feel to it, in my opinion. It sounds like some doctor asked his 6 year-old kid to make up a word for a spinal defect.

This is how great empires fall.

Who is there to vote for at this point? I can't imagine even my Republican friends still think their party isn't a rancid pile of shit by now. I think I even preferred them when they were being shady to the overtly religious right. And if Schwarzenegger's recent dumb-ass speech didn't prove he's retarded, well...I weep for California.

I understand right-wingers generally "vote with their pocketbook", but come on, liberals are you telling me you're in better financial shape since Obama took office? I'm sure as hell not. Taxes up, healthcare debacles, raises down, jobs gone the way of the dodo. I don't know, maybe it only works for the wealthy.

So, who will I vote for in 2010? I'll tell you: I'm sick of voting for candidates I don't believe in just to keep out candidates I believe in even less. Besides, my Democrat friends, what makes you think the left is going to improve anything?

Are they pro-gay marriage?

Are they going to create jobs?

Are they not sucking the cock of Big Business just as hard as the Republicans?

Does they even have any strong opinions on anything, or are they just spouting more bullshit lowest common denominator rhetoric like everybody else?

I guess I'll probably exercise my right to vote by NOT voting.

I wish there were viable third and fourth options. Well, there are, but like they're going to get their act together in time for the elections. Although most of my friends with my political views tell me voting for third parties is just throwing my vote away. Well, you know what I think? The reason that would be throwing my vote away is because people like you believe that. If more of you voted for who you thought was the best candidate instead of choosing who you thought had the best chance of winning maybe the two-party stranglehold would come loose, and we'd get to see some real change, which is supposedly what people want. But you won't do that, you'll just keep voting Democrat, and then you'll complain about how shitty everything is when they turn out to not give a fuck about your particular demographic group's concerns. I mean, why not just elect Jeb Bush and then Hillary and keep the Bush/Clinton/Bush club sandwich going (Obama thrown in the middle as "secret sauce")if that's how little commitment you really have to your ideals?

I can't see that it would be that much different.